QT 11/19/2025 Gen 34:1-12, Making hard decisions before they go off the rails

Genesis 34:1–12 (ESV) —

1 Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. 2 And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. 3 And his soul was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob. He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. 4 So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, “Get me this girl for my wife.”

5 Now Jacob heard that he had defiled his daughter Dinah. But his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob held his peace until they came. 6 And Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. 7 The sons of Jacob had come in from the field as soon as they heard of it, and the men were indignant and very angry, because he had done an outrageous thing in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter, for such a thing must not be done.

8 But Hamor spoke with them, saying, “The soul of my son Shechem longs for your daughter. Please give her to him to be his wife. 9 Make marriages with us. Give your daughters to us, and take our daughters for yourselves. 10 You shall dwell with us, and the land shall be open to you. Dwell and trade in it, and get property in it.” 11 Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, “Let me find favor in your eyes, and whatever you say to me I will give. 12 Ask me for as great a bride-price and gift as you will, and I will give whatever you say to me. Only give me the young woman to be my wife.”

 

NOTE: I have a tendency to be pretty harsh on Jacob on this passage, especially verse 5. On the other hand, would have I done differently? Would going into a rage when I heard of the rape do anything? I can't undo the sin of others. I can be angry, righteously angry, but it is not as if you could do a whole lot back then. You can't call the police. You can't call the FBI for inter-state crimes. Your choices are limited. You can meet with the offending party and demand some recompense and say "no" on principle to marriage. I doubt the "king" (leader) of Shechem will give his son to you for slavery or jail (since they didn't really do jail). So, it is physical violence between the two parties or some type of negotiated arrangement. While most societies accept marriage, not many cultures accept the idea of sex only within the confines of marriage. I doubt Shechem did.

 

Hamor approaches Jacob and offers a bride price and an economic "best nation" status for trade. Technically, Israel was forbidden to inter-marry. The latter will be formalized in the law, but it was already a practice. Waiting for the adult children to show up does not help. The best solution was recompense and if the individual was serious about marriage, he would have to go through the process of becoming a Jew. I don't know if that was formalized at that time.

 

What do we learn from the story? I genuinely don't know what the best option was. I do know the end of the story, and I know that was not the correct solution either. If there is one thought, it is that Jacob should have taken the lead in the matter, or at the very least sought God for wisdom. He does neither.

 

PONDER:

1. Do I pass off decisions that I should make and are expected of me?
2. Do I fear making decisions on hard subjects?

 

PRAYER: Father, you have made me leader of my family, and in some cases some spiritual entities. Help me to be bold in the decisions, and to seek you in all cases.