Notice on a slight format change:

Except for July 2012, these are mostly a collection of current devotional notes.

July 2012 is a re-write of old quiet times. My second child was born Nov 11, 1987 with multiple birth defects. I've been re-reading my QT notes from that time in my life, and have included them here. They cover the time before the birth and the few years immediately after the birth. They are tagged "historical." I added new insights and labeled them: ((TODAY, dd mmm yy)).

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

QT 26 Oct 10

Eph 5:1-6 (NIV) Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person — such a man is an idolater — has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

NOTE: What does verse 5 mean? It says that any immoral, impure or greedy person has does not have any inheritance in the kingdom. It also defines immoral, impure or greedy person as an idolater. But since we are all immoral, impure, or greedy -- to some extent, even Paul called himself a wretched man, and the chief sinner -- how does it apply. Since it would apply to all believers in some sense or at some time, it must refer to a way of life. A life characterized by immorality, impurity, or greediness suggests a person who does not worship God but rather sex, lust, and money. His worship is for his idols and consequently, he cannot be a believer. So then, does our struggles with sex, lust, and money have some impact on our inheritance in the kingdom as believers? Quite possibly, since it is the given reason for why an unbeliever (or faker) would not have an inheritance. I'm still not confident with the tidiness of this explanation. This is something I need to investigate further. I don't want to create my own doctrine, but rightfully divide God's word.

Monday, October 18, 2010

QT 18 Oct 10

Eph 4:3-6 (NIV) Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit— just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

NOTE: Why is it that Christians, who share the same Holy Spirit, and are part of one universal body, should have to be reminded to pursue unity?  Why isn't unity a natural response to being a believer in Christ?  What is it about our nature, I assume the flesh, that even when we are new creations, must be reminded to pursue unity?  One of the key characteristics of a disciple is "love for each other" and yet, we still struggle with unity.  Paul offers good reasons why unity is essential, and probably expected -- one body, one spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all.  But somehow, we have to be reminded to pursue peace and unity.  One could argue that the church is an odd mixture of different beliefs and practices, with little obvious unity.  Some of these churches are "so-called" churches because they do not represent true believers.  But others are true believers.  Do we allow our convictions of truth to influence our acceptance of others in areas that are grey?  Do we refuse to acknowledge the grey areas?  Do we, in our pride, believe that no one else can understand God as we understand God?  I don't have answers to these questions, but I do recognize the subtle influences of sin which cause divisions.  Lord, protect me from those attitudes.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

QT 12 Oct 10

Eph 4:1-2 (NIV) As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

NOTE: The "calling" is becoming a citizen of the kingdom and a member of God's family, partakers (Gentile and Jew) with the promises of God and an inheritance from God.  It really is an amazing calling, and none of us are worthy of it.  But, if we truly understand and believe that calling, it will affect how we live our lives.  We need to be humble, even though the calling has made us incredibly special.  We need to be gentle, because it is a characteristic of our family name.  We need to be patient, and to bear with others in love, because God has been more than patient with us, and has shown us incredible and amazing love.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

QT 6 Oct 10

Eph 3:16-19 (NIV) I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
NOTE: Biblical prayers are most interesting -- mostly because of what you don't see in the prayers.  Paul does not mention the Father's name every other clause.  No prayers for someone who is sick.  No prayers for someone to find a job.  No prayers for the friend of a sister of a church member.  No prayers for undefined blessings.
Rather, Paul's prayers are entirely spiritual.  He prays for the Father to strengthen the readers with power from the Holy Spirit.  He prays that Christ would dwell in their hearts through faith.  He prays that they might truly understand the depth of the love of Christ.  He prays that they might be filled with the fullness of God.  

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

QT 5 Oct 10

Eph 3:14-15 (NIV) For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.
NOTE: It is easy to forget that as adopted sons and daughters, we are part of a larger family.  We have an inheritance, but we also inherit a name.  Our new last name is God's.  I'm not sure how it is pronounced or said, but the fact remains, our new name is derived from God.  When people see me, it is not just my name that I represent, but it is God's name.  My actions reflect upon my family, the family of God, the true church, those who share in Christ, Jew and Gentile.  I don't think we are truly captured with that thought or the magnitude of the truth.  If we really let it sink in, it ought to radically affect how we live our lives in this world.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

QT 22 Sep 10

Eph 2:19 (NIV) Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household,
NOTE: It really is hard to understand the depth of our salvation.  I'm not sure that most believers appreciate the significance of having been foreigners and aliens, but now citizens of the kingdom, and members of God's household.  These are glorious honors with fantastic privilege, status, and security.  This is our hope from God.  I am so undeserving of your kindness to me, Lord.  Forgive my lack of gratefulness.  

Monday, September 20, 2010

QT 20 Sep 10

Eph 2:11-13 (NIV) Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" (that done in the body by the hands of men)— 12 remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.
NOTE: Why is it so important to remember where we came from?  I think if we don't realize how undeserving we were of our salvation that we being to take it for granted.  We don’t fully appreciate how lost, helpless, and hopeless we were.  When we don't appreciate, we are not thankful.  When we are not thankful, we live in a manner that reflects our selfish, me-only philosophy of life.  When we are not thankful, we forget God.  When we forget God, we try to live our life in our own power.  Lord, forgive us for our thanklessness and for not remembering all that you have done for us.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

QT 16 Sep 10

Eph 2:4-5 (NIV) But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved.

NOTE: What initiates our salvation is not us, but God himself. It wasn't our seeking him. It wasn't our behavior. It wasn't anything good about us. The phrase "God, who is rich in mercy" highlights the fact that we needed mercy because what we deserved, was anything but salvation. We were spiritually dead because of our sin. And only by grace, which means an undeserved gift, were we saved. Deserving of death and undeserving of life, God saved us. Of course, we had to respond to the gift, and many today refuse to take the offer of salvation. Thank you Lord, for the gift of life. I know that I was undeserving of life.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

QT 14 Sep 10

Eph 2:1-3 (NIV) As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.

NOTE: The picture is pretty dismal, and a far cry from how most people view themselves. We see good, and for our definition, we are good. In fact, God made us good. What we don't see is how our rebellion that began is the garden so completely mars the person God created. In God's eyes we are no longer good, in fact, only God is good -- a point Jesus subtly tried to communicate to the rich young ruler. It is true, that by our definition, we are not evil, but by God's definition, we are. By God's definition, we are objects of wrath. We will never truly understand the gospel and the riches of the gospel until we see our condition from God's perspective.

Monday, September 6, 2010

QT 6 Sep 10

Eph 1:15-17 (NIV) For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, 16 I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. 17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.

NOTE: The first thing to notice is that Paul did not originate the work in Ephesus ("ever since I heard about your faith…"), although he spent considerable time there teaching (3 years). It was a church that he deeply loved and that cared for him as well. It did not have the same struggles as some of the other churches, and that may be related to less wealth and other previous pagan practices -- that is, while existing, may not have been as extreme.

One of the best aspects of prayers in scripture is that we have a pattern that is biblical. The first thing Paul does is to give thanks. While people do give thanks in corporate prayer, oftentimes our private prayer is entirely needs intensive, and usually those needs are personal needs. Paul's first request for the Ephesians is for wisdom and revelation, to know God better. By far, the most important thing that we can ask for any individual is to know God better. Knowing God changes people. Changes don't make people love God or know him better. Laws do not create a new heart or attitude. That is a spiritual work that is an outflow of a relationship to God.

Application: I need to renew my own prayer time with God

Friday, August 27, 2010

QT 27 Aug 10

2 Cor 10:7 (NIV) You are looking only on the surface of things. If anyone is confident that he belongs to Christ, he should consider again that we belong to Christ just as much as he.

NOTE: I think that too often we forget that, in some disputes, there are very godly individuals on both sides of the aisle. Now it is possible, that only one side is right. And logically, that must be the case where the positions are in contradiction. But in cases where the positions don't contradict, it is possible that both sides are correct, and that God allows for variation, such as in styles of worship. At the very least, the verse reminds us, that when others believers, who represent people with a strong love for the savior, we should not dismiss their views just be they disagree with ours. On the contrary, those contrarian views by godly people should cause us to seek the scriptures even more deeply. It is possible we are wrong, they really are wrong, there is some alternate reason, or the views are not as opposed as we might think. Finally, some things may be unknownable until the end of time, and we can agree to disagree because the point is not critical to salvation. I think the old earth, young earth argument can fall into this realm.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

QT 19 Aug 10


2 Cor 8:1-9 (NIV) And now, brothers, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. 2 Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. 3 For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, 4 they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the saints. 5 And they did not do as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us in keeping with God's will. 6 So we urged Titus, since he had earlier made a beginning, to bring also to completion this act of grace on your part. 7 But just as you excel in everything — in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us — see that you also excel in this grace of giving.
8 I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. 9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.
NOTE: A number of principles for giving come out of this passage.
  1. Giving is an act of grace (which differentiates it from something in or out of the law, ie, it can not be compared to tithing)
  2. Circumstances (wealth or poverty) do not dictate giving
  3. Giving is sacrificial
  4. Giving is a personal decision. It is a privilege and not a command
  5. Giving is between the giver and God (and no one else's business)
  6. Giving is not commanded

  7. Giving is a measure of our love for others
    The church today is so hung up on tithing and the Ten Commandments, that we forget one of the most essential truths of the new covenant. We are not under the law but grace. Giving is done freely, voluntarily, and between God and the giver. It is a joy and not a burden.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

QT 18 Aug 10

2 Cor 7:5 (NIV) For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn — conflicts on the outside, fears within.

NOTE: Paul had a very tough life. There were joys but quite often it was difficult. It was far from the health and wealth gospel that some would like to preach. Of course, people make a distinction between troubles that are the result of persecution and non-persecution. It is as if that those who suffer persecution have no rescue from their troubles, but those who face trials not caused by persecution have the promise of healthy bodies and fixed circumstances. So, the really godly, those who are often the victim of persecution are consigned to live lives of pain and suffering, and those who are not persecuted get the good life. How illogical. Why is it we believe such things. Don't we realize that the evil and pain in this world is the result of this world's rebellion to God that started in the garden. This world is not our home. We are aliens and sojourners in it. We are, as the song says, "just a passin through." And, "our treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue." Why is it we must have our reward here and now? Why is it that we cannot wait for our reward?

Monday, August 16, 2010

QT 16 Aug 10

2 Cor 7:5-16 (NIV) For when we came into Macedonia, this body of ours had no rest, but we were harassed at every turn — conflicts on the outside, fears within. 6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him. He told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever.

8 Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it — I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— 9 yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. 12 So even though I wrote to you, it was not on account of the one who did the wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. 13 By all this we are encouraged.

In addition to our own encouragement, we were especially delighted to see how happy Titus was, because his spirit has been refreshed by all of you. 14 I had boasted to him about you, and you have not embarrassed me. But just as everything we said to you was true, so our boasting about you to Titus has proved to be true as well. 15 And his affection for you is all the greater when he remembers that you were all obedient, receiving him with fear and trembling. 16 I am glad I can have complete confidence in you.

NOTE: Paul is extremely joyful because of the response of the church to a very harsh letter now lost. It hurts when your children, physical or spiritual, make poor choices. And there is no greater joy than seeing them repent and make correct choices. I pray that for my own children. That they would learn to seek God with all of their heart, and that they would learn that what this world offers is not worth the sweat it costs. But knowing God is worth every penny and then more.

Some people wonder how a good God can allow evil in the world. I would offer, how can a good God not allow evil. Evil is a reminder of our rebellion and the only hope that we might turn from our selfish course and pursue God, who created Eden, but has let us experience this life in order that we would repent of our rebellion and return to him. Evil is the proof that life is not the way that God intended, nor the way to a relationship with God that will completely fulfill a person. If God was to take away every evil action or result, what we would learn, what would we do? The one thing it would not do is cause us to seek Him. It didn't work in the garden, it won't work today.

Monday, August 9, 2010

QT 9 Aug 10

2 Cor 5:1-5 (NIV) Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, 3 because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.  

NOTE: Paul repeats, or at least reinforces, his previous argument about the immortality of the heavenly body. In fact, he says that our current mortal existence / body will be swallowed up by life. In other words, what we call life, is not really life, in the full definition of the word. And that makes sense, because in this 'life,' we groan, our bodies decay, we struggle against the flesh, and our 'life' fails. But real life will not fail. We will live forever without decay and groaning and sin and failure. Real life awaits us, this life is not the end or the reward. It is a reminder of our rebellion from God and our need to repent and turn to Him. Otherwise, it really has little to offer us.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

QT 7 Aug 10

2 Cor 4:7-18 (NIV) But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

13 It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken." With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

NOTE: The last three verses, 2 Cor 3:16-18, may be the most meaningful verses in the bible for me. They have helped me through many hard times of suffering, and just plain difficult times of life. In context, the glory referred to is the glory of the new covenant, the covenant of the Spirit that gives life and righteousness to those who believe. As Paul continues, he remarks that he carries the glorious gospel in a jar of clay, his body, a poor picture of the true glory. In fact, his earthly body is dying, and being attacked from every side. Death is at work in his flesh, although his spirit has life, and someday even, his flesh will be raised from the dead. So, he is not concerned about the difficult suffering he is undergoing, because it is worth it. In fact, it is not even worth comparing. We live for things which are unseen and eternal, not the temporary seen things of this world. Even the most beautiful are only a shadow of the things to come. Thank you Lord for saving me and giving me such a glorious future.

Friday, August 6, 2010

QT 6 Aug 10

2 Cor 3:6-11 (NIV) He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant- — not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

7 Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, fading though it was, 8 will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? 9 If the ministry that condemns men is glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! 10 For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. 11 And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!

NOTE: The contrast between the two covenant cannot be any clearer. First, Paul calls himself a minister of a new covenant. Then he describes one as "of the letter" and the other as "of the Spirit." The latter "kills" but the former "gives life." And then, to make it more clear, he describes the "ministry that brought death" as one that "was engraved on stone." The phrase, engraved on stone, is a clear reference to the ten commandments. Even today, we in the new covenant seem to revere the ten commandments, yet Paul associates it with the ministry that kills, and that brought death. The old covenant did come with glory, which was obvious in its impact on Moses' face. Thought its glory was fading and impermanent. The new covenant of the Spirit is even more glorious because it brings righteousness.

The lesson to us is clear, why do we want to be under the law when a much more glorious covenant is available to us. The ten commandments is a nice set of rules, but the law of the Spirit is a better way to live life.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

QT 4 Aug 10

2 Cor 3:1-3 (NIV) Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? 2 You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. 3 You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.

NOTE: God provides the results, yet the people, Paul says, are result of Paul's ministry. Their lives, are known and ready by everybody. What is not clearly stated is the role of free will. Since, a person who chooses not to obey Paul's instruction is not an indictment against Paul, then accepting instruction is not an endorsement of Paul either. The fact that anything happens does indicate Paul labored with the people, that he was obedient to the task God gave him. The rejection or acceptance of the message is between the individual and God. That was Paul's point in 1 Corinthians 1. I think the point he is making here is not that his ministry is measured by the performance of the Corinthians, but that their lives are indication that others (including him) have labored among them. Individuals exercise free will and choose to believe; God gives the growth; and laborers toil in obedience to God. The commendation from God, "well done," will be the ultimate reward some day. But until that day comes, our spiritual offspring are an incomplete measure of our obedience (not our ministry -- in my opinion). Likewise, our children will exhibit characteristics of our teaching and influence, but ultimately as individuals with free will, standing before God, the choices they make in life are between them and God, and only, very poorly, a reflection of their parents. People, redeemed by God, can have terrible parents and become godly saints. Do we then say that they reflect their parents? Of course not, but yet we want to say the same thing when children of godly parents become godly saints. Yes, we have an influence -- "train a child in the way he should go, and in the end he will not depart" -- is a proverb incidentally, not a promise or guarantee. It does indicate that parents and spiritual leaders have influence, but the ultimate choices are still made by individuals, before God, and not because of someone else's effort. "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God (John 1:12-13)." The verse is very clear in regard to salvations decisions, why would it not be as clear in sanctification decisions.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

QT 30 Jul 10

2 Cor 1:8-11 (NIV) We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

NOTE: Paul sees a need to explain how hard his life has been, to the point of despairing of life. He is telling the Corinthians, his children in Christ, that his life has not been easy either. And his hard times have taught him a lot as well, they have taught him of his need to rely on God and not on himself. Funny, that lesson seems to always involve hard times. Why is it that we can't learn to rely on God another way? It is so natural to rely on self, I suppose it is part of the curse -- we want to be self-sufficient. We don't want to depend on someone outside of our self. Father, forgive me for my independence and self-sufficiency. Open my eyes, I want to see you more clearly in my everyday life.

QT 29 Jul 2010

2 Cor 1:3-7 (NIV) Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

NOTE: The verse says that God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble. So, one of God's purpose in troubles is to create comforters of us. What does it mean to be a comforter? The comfort we want Is relief, but the best comfort is usually understanding, and emotional support. Troubles have purposes. Sometimes they are to draw us closer to God, or to learn to persevere, or to cleanse us from the love of the world, or to help us be comforters. And most times, it is all of those things. Is there a magic formula to avoid troubles? I wish, although I do suppose a certain lifestyle seems to make troubles less needed. A lifestyle characterized by thankfulness, contentment, a heart after God, a heart for people, an ability to wait, and a recognition of the pain in the world. Well, at least, that is what troubles have shown me thus far.