QT 1/26/2022 Matt 18:15-17, Dealing with conflict

Matthew 18:15–17 (ESV) —

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

 

NOTE: The primary first step is that the two individuals (the one hurt and the one who committed the action) should seek to reconcile privately. The word "alone" is prominent in the first verse. Only if the two cannot agree should they involve one or two others. While it does not suggest a particular person, such as an elder or deacon, it would fit the context that the person be unbiased, a person of integrity, and a fellow believer. Having failed to resolved the issue with the additional witnesses, the matter goes to the church. And finally, the person is to be excluded from all public activities of the church, and essentially shunned for fellowship.

 

In today's day and age, this is very difficult to put into practice. One, because people like to sue institutions, and so that places a lot of work on the church to make sure the process is clearly laid out and understood by all. Two, with all the emotional problems in a society sick because of sin, many of these issues require specific counseling because the wounds are so deep. Third, we are not a deeply integrated community. Most believers who are excluded from the church simply go to another church. In principle, the whole process is difficult to work out in practice. Still the first two steps are reasonable: meet alone to reconcile and then if that fails, bring an unbiased, spiritual third party to help resolve. At that point, it is difficult in today's age to fulfill the remaining portion of Jesus' command without a lot more changes in our church community.

 

PONDER:

1. Have I ever taken the first step toward reconciliation, or do I tend to gossip to another as my first step?

 

PRAYER: Father, protect us from bad relational practices, such as gossip and tearing others down. Give us gentleness to approach another when their actions have hurt us. Give both individuals a spirit of calmness to discuss hurts. Help us to know the difference between just being over-sensitive and seeing destructive behavior. Give us wisdom.