Notice on a slight format change:

Except for July 2012, these are mostly a collection of current devotional notes.

July 2012 is a re-write of old quiet times. My second child was born Nov 11, 1987 with multiple birth defects. I've been re-reading my QT notes from that time in my life, and have included them here. They cover the time before the birth and the few years immediately after the birth. They are tagged "historical." I added new insights and labeled them: ((TODAY, dd mmm yy)).

Friday, November 29, 2019

QT 29 Nov 19, 1 Pet 1:17-19, Living for Christ in a serious manner


1 Peter 1:17–19 (ESV) — 17 And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, 18 knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot.

NOTE: While the 'exiled' referred to Jewish believers spread throughout the Roman empire, in a real sense, we are also exiles, separated from our true heavenly home. We are to live our lives in fear, because we know that we were ransomed from our futile ways of our forefathers. Again, this is a Jewish reference, but we have inherited our sin from our forefathers too, our culture. And our ransom was at a terrible price, the precious blood of Jesus. Do I really live like this? Or am I nonchalant about my faith and what it cost the savior? I think I live far too relaxed in regard to my faith. I need to be more serious about the salvation that God has given to me.

PRAYER: Father, I don't want to take for granted your unbelievable salvation. I want to be very serious in my private life. I want to live lovingly in my public life. Forgive me for my failures.

Thursday, November 28, 2019

QT 28 Nov 19, 1 Pet 1:12, Who are we really serving?



1 Peter 1:12 (ESV) — It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.

NOTE: The prophets were trying to figure out what time the salvation of the Lord was coming. It was probably a disappointment to know that they would not see it themselves but they were serving others, who would be born many years after them. Even if it was a disappointment, it was also an incredible honor to serve God. Did they earn that honor? I wonder. While salvation is by grace, the choice of people to serve God seems dependent upon the actions of those selected. Mary was praised. Moses, David, Elijah, and Elisha were honored. They weren't perfect, but they pleased God. In fact, Hebrews 11 is a list of men and women, saved by grace, but serving because of obedience and faith. What are we missing out on based on our lack of obedience? Are we willing to serve even if we are not helping ourselves? I hope I am.

PRAYER: Father, thank you for the obedience of the men and women of faith who have gone before me. I want to have their attitude of service. It was not about them, it was about honoring you in service to others.

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

QT 27 Nov 19, 1 Pet 1:8-9, We don't see God today, but we do see life without God today


1 Peter 1:8–9 (ESV) — 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

NOTE: In the first century, many of the believers saw Jesus. Other believers knew eyewitnesses to the facts. Today, there are no eyewitnesses. There is no one who has seen Jesus. We do have the experience of the Holy Spirit. That is, we see the change the HS brings into our life. We feel the comfort of his presence. But, we do not see him. Jesus said as much to Nicodemus when he told him that the Spirit is like the wind, you see the effects of the wind, but you do not see the wind. Our faith then is based on two foundations, the logical truth of scripture, and the life changing presence of God in our life. It is not a leap in the dark. It never has been.

PRAYER: Father, another indication of your truth is the sad state of our world today as we depart further from your truth. Open our blinded eyes to see that our human solutions to life are not making us better but are destroying the very fabric of our souls and persons.

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

QT 26 Nov 19, 1 Pet 1:1-2, Saved for obedience


1 Peter 1:1–2 (ESV) —
1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,
To those who are elect exiles of the Dispersion in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, 2 according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in the sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and for sprinkling with his blood:
May grace and peace be multiplied to you.

NOTE: There is a lot of disagreement about the word foreknowledge. Both the Armenian and Calvinist use the verse to argue for their point of view. Using the Hermeneutical rule of common sense reading, it would seem to favor the Armenian view point. But, it would not mean God in his foreknowledge knew we were worthy of salvation, but rather God in his foreknowledge knew we would say "yes" to his offer of salvation that he gives to all men. And based on our choice to believe the truth, he has sanctified us for obedience to Jesus and salvation. We are part of his elect because he saw we would exercise a free will answer of yes to him. That is the straightforward way of viewing foreknowledge. In the Calvinist view, foreknowledge would not be required except to know of our existence. And we would be created to be saved. In contrast to being created to not be saved, as some might argue the discussion of Pharaoh in the book of Romans makes. In the end, I really can't say with any firmness, but I am thankful I am saved for eternal life with God.

PRAYER: Thank you Lord for my salvation. Thank you that you give me life despite the fact that I am not at all worthy of your name.

QT 25 Nov 19, Mal 4:5-6, The Day of the Lord is most assuredly coming


Malachi 4:5–6 (ESV) — 5 “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. 6 And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”

NOTE: These are the last words of Malachi. It starts out in verse 1 with the Day of the Lord and the upcoming judgment. Elijah preceded the last days, but Israel rejected the Messiah, resulting in the church age, which will end and this short period of time will culminate in God's judgment through the tribulation and the establishment of the millennial rule of Christ on earth. It is coming. Prophecy has been fulfilled in absolute accuracy regarding his first coming. He will come again and with absolute accuracy fulfill the remaining prophecies.

PRAYER: Father, I am so glad that I know the truth. I am so glad that I know the savior. I look forward to the end of the ages. My heart pains for this wicked and lost world. We are hurting ourselves with our stupid beliefs that put human wisdom above your timeless wisdom. Forgive us.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

QT 21 Nov 19, Mal 3:16, True Christian fellowship is talking about God


Malachi 3:16 (ESV) — Then those who feared the Lord spoke with one another. The Lord paid attention and heard them, and a book of remembrance was written before him of those who feared the Lord and esteemed his name.

NOTE: Constable suggests that some of the true believers got together, discussed Malachi's rebuke, and repented. And in turn, God's angels recorded the names of those who responded to his rebuke. This does give great insight into one of the most important aspects of walking with God -- good Christian fellowship. These are friends who don't spend time talking about the weather, sports, work, and politics, but spend time talking about what God is doing in their lives. The other things can be a part of friendship, but true Christian fellowship has a spiritual impact in the lives of the people involved -- how God answered prayer; how God used a particular verse in their life; areas that they are struggling in faith; etc. We are too "surface-y" and consequently miss out on the powerful impact of true Christian fellowship.

PRAYER: Father, I pray I would fellowship with others in a "spiritual" manner. May I talk about you and the things you are doing in my life.

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

QT 20 Nov 19, Mal 3:14-15, Doing the right thing because it is the right thing


Malachi 3:14–15 (ESV) — 14 You have said, ‘It is vain to serve God. What is the profit of our keeping his charge or of walking as in mourning before the Lord of hosts? 15 And now we call the arrogant blessed. Evildoers not only prosper but they put God to the test and they escape.’ ”

NOTE: The complaint is justified but short-sighted. Additionally, it ignores the moral requirement of integrity and doing the right thing, independent of the results. Certainly, no one should argue to do the right thing when there is material gain involved. That is a mercenary morality. This is where faith is important. Faith is not believing something that is not true. Faith is believing what God has said and trusting that he will fulfill his Word in his time.

PRAYER: Father, forgive us for our unbelief. Forgive us for expecting something out of our so-called goodness. Forgive us of our sin, our arrogance. Be merciful I pray.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

QT 19 Nov 19, Mal 3:8, Giving versus Tithing


Malachi 3:8 (RSV) — 8 Will man rob God? Yet you are robbing me. But you say, ‘How are we robbing thee?’ In your tithes and offerings.

NOTE: Our concept of a tithe is much different than the Jewish people understood. The full tithe (Mal 3:10) consisted of two tithes per year and one every three years. Mathematically that amounted to an average giving per year of 22 percent per year. Some years were 19 percent and once every three years you gave 27 percent. So, if we believe the tithe is a biblical requirement, then we too are robbing God of the full tithe. Fortunately, we are not under the law but under grace. The New Testament principle is expressed in a number of verses, but three are key:

2 Corinthians 9:6–7 (RSV) — 6 The point is this: he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 7 Each one must do as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Galatians 6:7 (RSV) — 7 Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

1 Corinthians 16:2 (RSV) — 2 On the first day of every week, each of you is to put something aside and store it up, as he may prosper, so that contributions need not be made when I come.

In the Old Testament, you would not set aside something each week. There was no way to measure that under the law. Do you put 2 times 52 divided by ten every week, which would be about 1 percent a week under the Jewish system. Or if you refuse to believe the scripture about a tithe twice a year, then one-half of a percent a week. They did not have the same concept of income. Calves and kids came in the spring and the harvest was mostly in the fall. Plus they gave from their entire wealth.

It is a different system today and there is a different standard. It is actually a higher standard. In my personal opinion, A tithe is a rich man's excuse to be greedy.

PRAYER: Father, our hearts are revealed in our giving. I pray that we would respond to you in hearts of gratitude as expressed in joyful giving.

Monday, November 18, 2019

QT 18 Nov 19, Mal 2:17, We have disgusted God


Malachi 2:17 (RSV) — 17 You have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you say, “How have we wearied him?” By saying, “Every one who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and he delights in them.” Or by asking, “Where is the God of justice?”

NOTE: This is our great Christian nation of today. We have made evil good and good evil. We applaud those who defy God's word. We tell each other that if God exists, He is love and all will be saved. What a wicked and blind people we are! God is not wearied with our nation, God must be disgusted with our nation. A great and terrible judgment is coming upon our land. One does not have to be a prophet to say that or to realize the truth. We have sinned greatly against God. There is good, but for all of our good, we have allowed sin to creep into our lives as well. Many churches practice apostasy -- a renunciation of the very things God has communicated in His Word. Do we have any hope? Will be repent of our sin?

PRAYER: Father, forgive me for allowing the sin of the world to affect my thinking. Forgive me for my unkindness toward others. Forgive me for wicked thoughts. Open our eyes to see our true self. May the church still become a light to the dying in the midst of this wicked and corrupt generation.

Friday, November 15, 2019

QT 15 Nov 19, Mal 2:13-16, Divorce is a cancer to our society


Malachi 2:13–16 (ESV) — 13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

NOTE: We are guilty as a culture and as a whole planet. Not only do we divorce freely, we have further blasphemed God by calling same-sex unions marriage. Marriage is uniquely defined by God. My heart hurts for those who believe a same-sex union will bring them happiness. I don't think it will, but they have a right to make those choices. If they don't believe in God, then there is not a lot to say. But if they do believe in the God of the Bible, they need to know that he calls same-sex relationships sin. I have no right to force behavior and I never will. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. But divorce and same-sex unions are not how God intended marriage to transpire. Of course, there is forgiveness. But we cannot act in a sinful manner knowing that there is always forgiveness available--that is hypocrisy. For myself, I must guard against faithlessness. I will never dismiss that danger. I need God's protection. I need to set up barriers. VP Pence was laughed at for his fences, but God does not laugh at a man who takes precautions with relationships. We all need to do the same.

PRAYER: Father, open our eyes to sin. Protect us from the enemies schemes. May we never dismiss sin, but may we always treat people as Jesus treated them. He did not look down on the woman who committed adultery but told her to go and sin no more. May we treat others with such kindness.

Thursday, November 14, 2019

QT 14 Nov 19, Mal 2:11, Mixed faith marriages don't work


Malachi 2:11 (RSV) — Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god.

NOTE: Mixed faith marriages do not work in Judaism or in Christianity (the fulfillment of Jewish promises). That sounds close-minded but it is what the prophet is saying. Paul has a similar statement in one of his letters to the Corinthians. Unfortunately, you can say this over and over again, but it does not seem to lodge in the mind of our children. They choose to believe the enemy and the world over their parents and have to learn the hard way. Some of it is just free will and our sinful nature. It does not matter how well you bring your children up, they will make choices, just like Adam and Eve, and just like the prodigal sons (I use the plural intentionally). It does not matter who your parents are. But, there are also children who make poor choices because they see Christianity as rules but no life. They don't see a difference in their parents. Church is not a relationship but a religion. And they don't believe. Their professors and teachers make emotional statements, sometimes with logic, and they quickly toss their faith away. They were never very serious, and they were never really taught how to think logically about the gospel. Science is extremely important to the Christian faith. Bible study is absolutely dependent on the rules of science and logic, but most fools don't realize it.

PRAYER: Come Lord Jesus, come. We are such fools. We need you. We need to be cleansed. We need to be changed by the Holy Spirit.

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

QT 13 Nov 19, Mal 2:4-5, God is great beyond words


Malachi 2:4–5 (ESV) — 4 So shall you know that I have sent this command to you, that my covenant with Levi may stand, says the Lord of hosts. 5 My covenant with him was one of life and peace, and I gave them to him. It was a covenant of fear, and he feared me. He stood in awe of my name.

NOTE: When he says "his covenant with Levi," this could not be the original Levi since there was no individual covenant with him. The covenant started with Aaron and Moses and the group of Levites who stood with them in opposition to the enemies within the people. The original Levi was not a man of peace. But both Aaron and Moses were known for the their long-suffering. The feared God greatly and especially feared for the people. The took their position with awe that they served the God of the universe. We have lost some of that awe and wonder. We need to rediscover the Holy God, who is "other." We are made in his image and yet he is not like us, he is "other." That is really what holy means. He is both transcendent and he is knowable. The terms do not contradict. You cannot know God fully or even in a small partial manner, and yet you can know God. In fact, as a believer, we are given the mind of Christ, which I assume to be the Holy Spirit's indwelling since my finite mind is too small for even a fraction of the mind of Christ. We should stand in awe or maybe better yet collapse to our knees in awe. We serve and know (in some degree) the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Creator of all things, and God of the universe.

PRAYER: Father, words cannot express what I want to say. The word awe falls far short. It is too small. Nothing can describe your greatness. You are everything and more. Nothing exists that you do not keep existing. Nothing was created that you did not create. In my desire to understand your incredible greatness, I am left with nothing. My words fail, my thoughts fall far short, but my heart senses a small piece of the awe I feel at knowing you.

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

QT 12 Nov 19, Mal 1:13, Do we really know the savior?


Malachi 1:13 (RSV) — ‘What a weariness this is,’ you say, and you sniff at me, says the Lord of hosts. You bring what has been taken by violence or is lame or sick, and this you bring as your offering! Shall I accept that from your hand? says the Lord.

NOTE: Wow, I guess people's non-verbal actions have not changed much over the years. I can visualize the "sniff" so clearly. We do it but we don't think it is worth our time or attention. The person says he is weary--how weary God must be! We still do this today. People "play" church. They do it out of some wrong sense of obligation or peer pressure or for others. There is no doubt in my mind that God is sick of it. That is why there will be many who will be cast out and who will say, "Lord, Lord, did we not do this and that for you?" And Jesus will answer, "Be gone, I do not even know you" (paraphrased). When the church is raptured, how many people who actually sit in the pews will be raptured? Most? More than half? Half? I wonder.

PRAYER: Father, I pray you would open the eyes of those who sit in the building called the church. I pray they might truly become part of the church, the body of Christ.

Monday, November 11, 2019

QT 11 Nov 19, Malachi 1:6-7, Giving God our very best


Malachi 1:6–7 (RSV) — 6 “A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am a father, where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is my fear? says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests, who despise my name. You say, ‘How have we despised thy name?’ 7 By offering polluted food upon my altar. And you say, ‘How have we polluted it?’ By thinking that the Lord’s table may be despised.

NOTE: The priests were religious leaders. They mediated between the people and God. They specifically handled the holy items and offered the sacrifices. They also taught the people. But they were not giving their best. They were doing shoddy work. In the military, we had a phrase, "good enough for the government" and unfortunately it permeated much  of the government. But when it came to doing something for a General, it was done very well. That's God's argument (Mal 1:8). We should treat him (God) better than even the most important person we have ever served. God is holy. To do anything for God less than the best is to dishonor his name. As a Christian leader and a teacher, the implication is obvious. I must do the very best job I can do in researching and teaching passages of scripture. I must never skimp. I must never decide that something is "good enough," my work and effort (ultimately to God) must be exemplary.

PRAYER: Lord, help me to do my very best in service to you. Whether it is teaching or leading or managing or interacting in the world, I want to be the very best witness I can for your name. I want to be gentle and kind. I want to be like Jesus.

Thursday, November 7, 2019

QT 7 Nov 19, Phil 4:10-13, Do you know the secret of contentment?


Philippians 4:10–13 (ESV) — 10 I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. 11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

NOTE: The latter sentence, Phil 4:13, is quoted quite often. But the context is a little different than the reason for which people often quote it. The context is contentment -- whether well-fed or hungry, in abundance or need, Paul had learned the secret of contentment. We might reply, "but it is easy to be content when there is an abundance." That is not necessarily true. When a person is in abundance, he can get what he needs or want on a whim. But does he really need it? And should he really get it? Those are spiritual questions. And they are difficult, especially when your flesh is telling you that you need that thing or that experience. How do you know whether it is truly a need? You have the funds and it barely makes a dent in your abundance. But is it good for your soul? I think that is harder sometimes than not having to deal with the issue because of a lack of funds.

PRAYER: Father, credit cards give people the illusion of having the funds to satisfy their every desire. But they have not yet learned the secret of contentment--that a relationship with Jesus can satisfy the deepest desires of our souls. Open our eyes to see you and to love you with all of our hearts.

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

QT 6 Nov 19, Phil 4:8-9, Healing is so close …


Philippians 4:8–9 (ESV) — 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

NOTE: Talk about a great verse for mental health, this would be near the top of the list. Mental health can be caused by physical or chemical makeup. But it is also something we can bring upon ourselves. There is a battle on-going for the control of our mind. A number of mental health issues can develop from excessive bitterness, unwillingness to forgive, comparisons, covetous, anger, and victimization -- to name a few. We can do these things to ourselves. The evil one can convince us to wallow in mental behavior that slowly destroys our mind. Paul lists a different way of thinking that can bring healing from the spiritual impacts of the enemy. In Romans, Paul also mentions the need to renew our mind. The word of God has the power to break enemy strongholds in our mind. But the enemy wants to do everything possible to keep us from daily getting into the word of God. He knows there is healing in a daily relationship with the savior.

PRAYER: Father, the healing balm is within our reach, but we refuse to reach out. Please, open our minds to see and understand truth. We don't have to be powerless babes living in the muck. We can rise up to be the men and women of God you designed us to be. Have mercy on us. Help us to see and understand the absolute need for daily intake of your word.

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

QT 5 Nov 19, Phil 4:5, Others should recognize our "unselfishness"


Philippians 4:5 (RSV) — Let all men know your forbearance. The Lord is at hand.

NOTE: The ESV translates forbearance as reasonableness. NIV says gentleness. NASB uses gentle spirit. Finally, the Amplified is worth quoting the whole verse, Philippians 4:5 (AMP) — Let all men know and perceive and recognize your unselfishness (your considerateness, your forbearing spirit). The Lord is near [He is coming soon]. This is also the application of Philippians 2, the attitude of giving up your rights. I actually like the word "reasonableness" the best. I work with individuals that are completely unreasonable. It is their way or else. I see it often. At times, as a Director, I am tempted to act similarly. But then I ask myself, how important is the issue really? If it is not an ethical or moral issue, it really does not matter. Do I have to have my way? Does it matter so much if I give in? I want to be known as gentle and reasonable, as opposed to the other opposite descriptions.

PRAYER: Father, give me a gentle spirit so that people enjoy working with me. I pray that my life would honor Jesus Christ and show people the power of the gospel.

Monday, November 4, 2019

QT 4 Nov 19, Phil 4:2-3, We are called to give up our rights


Philippians 4:2–3 (RSV) — 2 I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. 3 And I ask you also, true yokefellow, help these women, for they have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

NOTE: Paul calls out two women by name in the church to come together in agreement. The issue is not mentioned. This does seem unusual for a letter from Paul. I assume that the disagreement was well known in the church and that the two women were important members of the church. Not all disagreements can be solved. But in this case, Paul seems to feel that it can be solved. In context with the book, this is a perfect illustration of Jesus' example of humility and of Jesus giving up his rights to save us. One or both of these women need to be the mature believer and come together in unity. Does it mean they have to agree? I'm not sure on that point, but certainly the public fighting, or gossiping, or slander--if those were involved-- needs to come to an end.

PRAYER: Father, there is one person at work which I do have great difficulty in showing friendship. I need to be the one to let go of his stupid comments and not reply in kind. I need to be the mature one. The first step is to ignore his attacks, and the second step is to be positive about his contributions. Father, help me today to do that.

Friday, November 1, 2019

QT 1 Nov 19, Phil 3:18-19, Enemies of the cross are all around


Philippians 3:18–19 (RSV) — 18 For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their end is destruction, their god is the belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.

NOTE: If he is referring to believers, destruction would be physical death. But I think he would have addressed believers differently. I think that these are people outside of the church who have an influence on the church. There are many who, unfortunately, influence the church. The media with its so-called experts, talk show hosts, actors, actresses, directors, movie producers, supposedly unbiased news shows, etc., all influence the church. They create a worldview in their shows that influence our thinking because we are not grounded in God's word. Politicians (who are also a product of the media) fan the flames of the worldview for personal gain. We are awash in evil and wicked thinking by enemies of the cross, men and women whose god is the belly (what feels and tastes good as opposed to what is morally and rationally good). They glory in their shame -- transgenderism, gender identity, diversity for diversity sake, the list goes on. They have minds focused only on earthly things. They do not understand spiritual things. Their hearts are seared by sin. Sadly, they will live in delusion until their eternal death. I only wish we did not look so much like them.

PRAYER: Father, forgive us for elevating human understanding and the worldview of today above your word. Truth is not relative. It is absolute and given by the moral lawgiver. All of our attempts to be our own gods have failed miserably. Forgive us, we are so deceived and so wicked.