NOTE: The
disappointment that began last Friday night was too great for words. The tears
would not stop flowing Saturday. I had hoped for so much and yet realized the
dashing of my dreams again. It is hard to see God's sovereignty in days like
these. It's hard to maintain faith in the unseen when the seen is so
disappointing. I know I should be thankful though, Luke's fistula and web are
gone. He is not in danger of any more pneumonias and he is closer than ever to
getting rid of his trache. Thank you God for those successes. Help my faith --
to believe even this disappointment is for good.
((TODAY, 26 Jul
2012: My memory falters because of the
number of surgeries, but I'm pretty sure this was the reconstruction of the
airway using cartilage from the rib. The new airway collapsed shortly after the
recovery phase--ten hours in surgery, ten days (I think) in meditated state to
let the structure hold, and then disaster. Luke lived and we survived, but it
was devastating emotionally. A few months later, the doctors would tell us that
there is nothing more they could do, Luke would be trache-dependent the rest of
his life. I think that news hurt even more because Luke was not only no closer to getting rid of the
trache, but never getting rid of the trache. And yet, out of that depth of pain, out of that "death of a
vision," remarkably Luke would tolerate a passy-muir (not at first, but a
few months later), indicating that his airway might be better off than anyone
thought. And a some months later, another piece of cartilage, this time from
his ear, and a few months of healing with a metal trache would result in him
getting rid of the trache forever on his third birthday. The moral of the story
--in the midst of the pain, we never really know the ending of the story.))
No comments:
Post a Comment