Notice on a slight format change:

Except for July 2012, these are mostly a collection of current devotional notes.

July 2012 is a re-write of old quiet times. My second child was born Nov 11, 1987 with multiple birth defects. I've been re-reading my QT notes from that time in my life, and have included them here. They cover the time before the birth and the few years immediately after the birth. They are tagged "historical." I added new insights and labeled them: ((TODAY, dd mmm yy)).

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Historical QT 20 Oct 1988, Understanding pain is difficult from an earthly point of view

Phil 4:4 (NIV) Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

NOTE: Lord you've broken me. I'm really tired. I know I can go on but I almost don't care. I love Luke and I also love Sharon and Sarah. Sarah may seem ignorant of the situation, yet the stress on us doesn't allow us to deal with her as we should. Why God, for the sake of Sharon and Sarah will you not heal Luke? Why must we suffer? I know why we suffer -- I suppose the better question is -- why in your great compassion will you not help? I feel so selfish asking that question -- as if others have not suffered as much or more. Father, suffering is so hard to understand.

((TODAY, 24 Jul 2012: I don't know what the situation was at the time that sent me in such despair, possibly another pneumonia -- there were six in the first year. Or it could have been one of the failed laser surgeries. The repair on the skull shape occurred in July 1998, so I doubt it was that surgery. Whatever happened, it is interesting that I used the argument that many atheists employ: how can a loving and powerful God not intervene in human suffering? Of course, my argument was never about God's existence, but rather trying to understand God's view of the value of pain in my life. Today, I understand suffering better, but no logical argument will ever make sense in the midst of the pain. The emotions are so raw that it is impossible to reason. Also today, I do see the value of the pain in my life, but only because I emerged from the trees to see the forest. And I understand that this life is but a blip on the timeline of eternity. It doesn't feel like a blip from this temporal stage, but in relationship to eternal life, it is microscopic. As I consider how to help someone who is struggling with pain and suffering, the lesson is to expect ups and downs. Mourn with those who mourn, and rejoice with those who rejoice. Keep the teaching aside until the moment is right (calm) for it to be shared.))
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