Zech
2:13 (NIV) Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself
from his holy dwelling.
NOTE: My heart wants
to break out in the song: "Be still my soul! The Lord is on thy side; Bear
patiently the cross of grief or pain; Leave to thy God to order and provide; In
every change He faithful will remain. Be still my soul! Thy best, thy heavenly
friend, through thorny ways leads to a joyful end." This is my prayer and
my hope of your promise Lord. Help me to be still these days and trust you for
the future. Thank you for your exceeding kindness to me.
21 Jan 1988:
NOTE: I'm not sure I
can say what I wrote above now. I'm not bitter at you God, I'm just tired. The
pain you've brought has been great, far beyond my ability to bear. The
suffering is overwhelming at times. I love my son Luke, but I was not prepared
for the emotional and physical demands he would place on the rest of the
family. He is part of the family, I do not desire that you would take him for
us, rather I ask that you would help us. Give us supernatural strength to bear
the burdens. Carry us through the high waters. Make these days, days of joy and
healing. I ask for peace, calmness, and special grace. And most of all, when we
can, use us to help other families.
((TODAY, 11 July
2012: There are three weeks of an empty journal between 28 Dec 87 and 21 Jan 88. Part
of that was buying a house, moving into the house, getting our household goods
delivered, holidays, starting a new job, and Luke's arrival from the intensive
care unit into our house on 16 Jan. They
were days of great excitement and days of sheer terror. The stress level was
very high. We were exhausted physically and emotionally. It was hard to think
of the future because it was hard to think of how to finish the day. But we
lived through it, and we were not abandoned, although at times it did feel that
way.))
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