1 John
2:22 (NIV) Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ.
Such a man is the antichrist — he denies the Father and the Son.
NOTE: At least there
is one area of the Christian life I am succeeding -- I do not deny that Jesus
is the Christ. My words affirm the fact often; but, do my actions? Do my
actions show that I really believe in the Son of God who loved (& loves) me
so much he gave his life for me. There is no depth deep enough to measure the
Father & Son's love for me. How I must disappoint them. Yet their love
overcomes disappointment just as my love for my daughter forgets her failures.
I can't ever really comprehend so great a love -- someone truly loves me -- as
I have always desired to be loved.
PRAYER: Father, in
your love, heal my son. The pain and struggles he goes through day after day
are very draining. He hurts so much, he complains so little, I feel so ashamed.
Please, Father, I love Luke, not as you do, bur as much as I can, heal my son,
please.
((TODAY, 28 Jul
2012: There are few more posts for 1990, but apparently I started putting my
notes in a book that I no longer own. At this point (Feb 1990), I may still be
under the impression that Luke will always be trache-dependent -- I don't remember. I do know that by the end of the
year, 11 Nov 1990, three years to the day, Luke will complete the decannulation
process that began with an earlier surgery (in the Fall) to rebuild the airway using
cartilage from the ear. There will be doctors and nurses gathered around Luke's
bed as the trache is pulled out and the stoma covered up (the actual hole heals
closed within hours). There were a lot of smiles and joy in the faces of all
the nurses and doctors who cared for Luke so much over the three years -- they
were so happy for Luke and for us. Surprisingly, the two least happy persons
are the same two who wanted to get rid of the trache so much, the parents. I
was excited to see the trache gone, but as soon as it was gone, the thought hit
me (as it hit Sharon) -- now what will we do if Luke cannot breath -- there is
no trache to replace. It was a bitter sweet moment and it took some time to
overcome the fear deep within our hearts. Every time Luke would cough, aspirate
a little, or get a cold, my stomach started to turn within me, because I didn't
know what would happen next. We lived for years waiting for the other shoe to
fall because we were so used to disappointments. But I learned during those
years, that it is wrong to live in the plains of life, just because you did not
want to experience the valleys again. I learned to climb the mountains and
enjoy the top, rather than stay on the plain because I didn't want to be
disappointed (the valleys). It is not really living when we quench what God has
given to us. I have learned to be joyful and I have learned to cry -- I have
learned to live life and enjoy it as God intended.))
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