Ps
94:18-19 (NIV) When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your
love, O Lord, supported me.
19 When
anxiety was great within me,
your
consolation brought joy to my soul.
NOTE: I really can't
take the pain or pressure much longer, I'm actually pass my breaking point. I
can only believe that God has given me strength to carry me further. Yet
lately, it has seemed at times that God has forgotten us, that he refuses to
answer our prayers. Luke does not appear to make progress in his breathing or
eating, and the pressure continues to grow on my family. I know Lord that you
do answer prayer. I must assume then, that for reasons I can't understand that
you have answered but not in the way we would like. At this point in our life,
we need reassurance from you Lord that you have not forgotten us. I pray for
Christian neighbors and friends whom could help and encourage Sharon while I'm
at work. God if you won't answer prayers for me, please answer them for Sharon.
Help her Lord, please. She carries a great burden and she much more than I
needs reassurance of your love and concern. You said in your word--when our
foot is slipping, your love supports us--support Sharon with your love. Pleas
pour out your love on her abundantly. Help her to see that your love truly is
boundless. O' the depth, the length, the height, and the width of God's love.
Amen.
((TODAY, 13 Jul
2012: Those days seem so long ago. I would sleep on the floor of Luke's bedroom
from midnight to 6am (when I left for work). I would suction him (trache) as
needed and give him his food and meds, sometimes every two hours. Then Sharon
would take over for the day until I returned home after work. She had the
harder job--she also had the two year old to take care of in addition to
running an in-home ICU for a baby. We were both very tired--I would take cat
naps at work just to get caught up. And when you are tired, all suffering seems
multiplied. It was a season, a long season, and we did not know that it would
end. Sometimes people complain that Job's life came out well in the end but it
ignores two facts: one, the children he lost never came back to life, and two,
he didn't know it would ever end when he repented before God for his attitude
and sin.))
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